Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
