you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
