I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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