she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize