sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
