I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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