yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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