I like to think it a success when the cops are called
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
