So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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