I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
