That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
