I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She told me I should be a condom model.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
