Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So here I am, sexting at work.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize