At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
