allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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