chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
