woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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