Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize