1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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