some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
