I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize