Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
