My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
