Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
