I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she looked like the before picture.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
