Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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