Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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