ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
