my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
