I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
