ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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