Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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