Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
