dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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