She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize