I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
