Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
