How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
