im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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