Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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