He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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