i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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