I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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