He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
