ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
