Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
