i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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