I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
