I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
