took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize