You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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