i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
that's an acceptable place to lick
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
