We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
