Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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