so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
please come you make the beer taste better
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
