Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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