Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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