..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
do herpes really smell.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize