the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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