I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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