I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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