Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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