atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
