So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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