I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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