I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
