your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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