and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
