You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize