my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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