New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
