girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
